I’m not talking to you!

As if the terrible twos and threes weren’t enough little man has picked up quite the back talking and the meltdowns happen instantly after.
His favorite lately has been “i’m not talking to you” when explaining something or asking for something from either dad or I. It actually caught me off guard the first time. I was like, ” excuse me?”
I continued to try and help but he really just wanted to speak to dad. I didn’t understand it or take it as back talking that is until he gained a little attitude to go along with his remark.
I instantly shut his whole little show down after telling him he doesn’t speak to me that way and if I’m asking him something he is to answer me.
I then realized this little annoying rude phrase was coming from someone in the house, another adult that wasn’t me or dad.
This raised awareness of the things our kids were picking up by the people we were surrounding them by.
My question is what do you do if you can’t remove yourself from this type of behavior as quick as you’d like to?
Both the hubs and I agree that we can’t scold him for something he’s heard from a very well respected adult.
We now continue to say” you don’t say those words to us we are mom and dad and you will talk to us always when we ask” But he is three he does forget and boy is he stubborn.
I know had this been either of our families growing up, the hubs and I would have got smacked. I honestly don’t think that is fair.
For now we try and stay away from this individual as much as possible but when it’s family what can you do.
I was raised to respect my family. An older adult who is family is to be respected unless the situation causes physical or emotional harm. In no way am I ever going to put my family thru abuse. Would this be considered verbal abuse?
I need my kids to understand that language like this is not tolerated so we stay away as much as possible but little man has already picked up on the bad.
Thoughts?

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