Boys Need Hair Love Too #BlackHistoryMonth

 Boys Need Hair Love Too

I’ve been sitting on writing about this situation for a few weeks now. I’ve held off because when it comes to our kids I can get emotional and dwell on a situation til it drives me crazy. I want to share what happened or the little I know because it’s important. As a parent to a multicultural child  I can’t help but feel unprepared, sad and even guilty at times for situations that happen.

Little Man is a quite, shy, friendly when comfortable kind of kid. I always have to fight the words out of him because he doesn’t share much. His idea of telling me how school was is by saying “good” I have to ask specific questions or I get no where with him.

He came home from school sometime last month to share something very unexpected. His head was down, he wouldn’t look at me when he spoke and he just kept walking and talking. I finally had to stop him, ask him to look at me and explain. This was our conversation:

LM: I don’t like my hair. They make fun of me. A girl in my class said it’s big and curly. She touched it and laughed. 

MOM: Ok wait what? Who touched it and laughed and is that why you don’t like your hair???? Talk to me please Look at me

LM: Yes {student} said things about my hair and laughed …It wasn’t funny!

MOM: Did you tell your teacher

LM: Ya {teacher} told {student} that it wasn’t nice and to move her clip (clips are color coordinated for behavior )

MOM: Did {Student} apologize?

LM: No. I want to cut my hair!

little man first hair cut

Every morning since then, little man gives us issues picking out his hair. Before the issue was that it hurt. He is tender headed which is why we don’t usually let his hair grow. But dad grew his hair out for the winter so we thought little man would enjoy having his hair long once again like when he was smaller. 

We’ve tried several detangling sprays, brushes, and even hair routines with him. We were finally getting somewhere where he didn’t complain about brushing, picking, touching his head!

If i’m honest I failed to tell him how beautiful his hair is. I made it a point to tell little lady how amazing and beautiful her hair is. I spend extra time to care for her hair because too soon we heard how she has “that good hair” and soon after came the caressing and space invading admirers. 

I also learned that soon Little Lady would question why her hair isn’t like mama’s hair. And I worked extra hard to find treatments, routines, products, and styles for her hair something I wasn’t familiar with because as a mama with straight hair who doesn’t bother to brush out all her tangles everyday and lives in a ponytail having curly hair babies was completely new to me! A part of me wanted to be prepared for the day little lady came home to say the same words little man spoke. 

I’ve learned to turn my problems into lessons and be positive for my kids. If I can teach them to be proud of who they are I know they will get far in life.

little man fro

Effective immediately my parenting towards little man changes and I begin to share how beautiful his hair is. Whether he chooses to want to cut it or keep it long I want it to be a decision he wants not based off what others think.

I came across a hashtag on twitter #BrowithaFro and I thought it was a good idea to share with little man the amazing people in our world that love their big hair and are proud of it! 

We are starting off with a few of our favorite hair role models and turning it into a hair Black History lesson for all our family!

Questlove, Andre3000, and Lenny Kravitz- positive proud men who love their hair! 

I only wish there were more books about hair for kids that weren’t just directed at little girls. I guess we’ll have to change that! black history month-

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Comments

  1. charmaine says

    Try mixed like me by actor Taye Diggs.Ruby I wish I had your info so I can show you all the hairstyles my little man has had over the years.

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