It seems as though I’ve been holding on forever. There has NEVER been a time that the kids were away from me more than 2 nights. Little man is soon to be 3 and little lady soon to be 2. There first sleep over away from me was just last year when the hubs surprised me with a getaway on my birthday. Since then they’ve had maybe 2 more nights away from mom and dad. I cry every time.
It’s not that I don’t trust others to care for the kids. I’ve just had this huge attachment to them. I sometimes feel it could be linked to my untreated postpartum from little man I feel after having little lady i still had a lot to deal with which I didn’t But that’s another topic for another day.
I recently started getting really anxious; Clinching my mouth until i gave my self headaches, staying up later than usual, waking up about 3 or 4 times at night. But it’s just that, Anxiety. Why? Well I have a huge trip coming up which neither the kids or dad will be coming on. I’m going to California, my favorite place on Earth, to go to BLOGHER.
Though I am excited, I feel I have crutch-ed myself and the kids. I know they will suffer too. Even though dad will be with them MOM IS ALWAYS WITH THEM.
I’m sure this will be quite the experience for all of us but i can’t help but get those anxious feelings.
I’ve realized though I’d love to hold on forever… this time was going to come sooner or later.